Prank Calling: Joquetta Jackson and the Infamous Sheet Cake

prank calls | The Champagne Supernova

Now that the cat is out of the bag about me being immature, I want to share a story about an old and dear friend, Joquetta Jackson.

Joquetta works hard as the bakery manager at Winn-Dixie, a popular grocery chain in the southeastern United States.

While she knows how to make things like cookies and pastries, Joquetta’s real “bread and butter” (see what I did there?) is sheet cakes.

Joquetta’s got a sheet cake to celebrate every occasion.

Paternity determinations.

The syndication of Friends.

Finally removing that pesky hangnail.

Her creativity knows no limits.

Only Joquetta Jackson isn’t a real person.

She’s a fictional character my friends and I created for the purpose of prank calling innocent victims in college (oh God, and law school) when we should have been doing more important things like studying for exams, working out, washing our hair… the usual.

People were always so confused when we called.

I’ll begin with my now father-in-law. (I wasn’t married at the time.) It was 2007 and the 30th anniversary of Elvis’ death.


    How to Make Your Kids Brush Their Teeth with Tooth in the Booth

    How to make tooth brushing with kids easier with tooth in the booth | The Champagne SupernovaThis post is proudly sponsored by Tooth in the Booth. However, I love and use this book with my family and all opinions are my own.

    Getting my kids to brush their teeth has always been a struggle. I’m sure this is a problem that many other parents have faced as well. A friend of mine told me that her kids are always on best behaviour whenever they have to visit Palm Court Pediatrics for their dental check up, but as soon as they get home, they’re impossible to deal with. An all too familiar scenario for many parents, I’m sure.

    I’ve even had to tackle my kids to the ground and brush their teeth WWF-style. (Hulk Hogan ain’t got nothing on me!)

    I’ve lied and said bugs will crawl into their mouths at night to feast on leftover food if their teeth aren’t clean.

    I’ve told them their teeth will fall out or turn brown if they don’t do a good job brushing. My sister takes her kids to Fort Wayne Dentist and they love going! My kids hate going to the dentist, nevermind even brushing their teeth!

    Since I discovered the Tooth in the Booth my morning and bedtime routines have been changed for the better.

    My kids now WANT to brush their teeth.


      Prank Calls: Don’t Hate the Prankster, Hate the Prank

      Funny stories about making prank phone calls | The Champagne Supernova

      There are many reasons why I didn’t get into a Top-10 law school and prank calling during my undergrad days is one of them.

      I mean, seriously, what else did we have to do?

      In the true spirit of being a freshman and “how college ought to be,” I lived in the dorms during my first year at the University of Florida.

      (For all you Gators, this was Trusler Hall… right across from Hume. It had a Blimpie Sub shop in the common area and it was walking distance to the Reitz Union… where we would use electronic funds from our Gator 1 cards to buy booze at the Baja Tortilla Grill – sorry, Mom and Dad!)

      It was 2000 and I was fresh out of high school and equipped with important things like body glitter, butterfly hair clips, an AIM screen name, and was “living on the edge” by downloading music illegally on Napster.

      In those days, we didn’t have cell phones, social media, or other distractions.

      Each dorm room was equipped with a land line. For whatever (dumb) reason, the University published a “phone book” that included the telephone numbers of each student who was living in on-campus housing.

      So if you wanted another student’s phone number and that student lived on campus, all you had to do was look up their name in this phone book and viola! you had it.

      Our dorm was quite social and I met some of my best friends there, two of which I still see and speak to regularly.

      In lieu of doing responsible things like studying and doing homework, we would often gather around each others’ rooms in our pajamas, get fat from Pokey Stix, and prank call the shizzz out of other people, courtesy of this phone book.

      Our pranks were so good that they deserve a regular blog feature. I really wish I could make a living out of prank calling.

      One prank stands out in particular.


        Namaste: Goodies for Your Inner Yogi

        Great products to try for national yoga month | The Champagne Supernova

        This post is proudly sponsored by but, per usual, all opinions are my own.

        As September is National Yoga Month, the kind folks at Babbleboxx have put together the perfect package to help reduce stress, find peace, and unleash our inner yogi.

        Great products to try just before National Yoga Month | The Champagne Supernova

        Ascent Native Fuel Whey Protein Powder Blend. This native fuel protein, the Official Sponsor of Hard Work- is made with native whey, which is the new benchmark in protein purity. This is the least processed protein available because it is filtered from high-quality milk and contains higher levels of naturally occurring leucine, a key amino acid for stimulating muscle protein synthesis. Ascent stands out from other companies because it makes its own protein, and has been doing so for more than 30 years. Just one scoop of the whey protein delivers as much protein as eating three full cups of whole milk, three servings of yogurt, four large eggs, or one small chicken breast. Comes in chocolate, vanilla bean, and lemon sorbet flavors. Use code YOGA for 10% off your purchase here


          How to Embrace the “In-Between”

          How to embrace the "in-between" times in your life as a mother | The Champagne Supernova

          In between.

          Haven’t we felt it before? The emotional purgatory of not knowing what we want from our lives?

          Adults are not immune.

          Career women are not immune.

          Mothers and wives are not immune.

          These feelings are real, but what do we do about them? Freak out or embrace the emotions? Do something for just ourselves?

          This is a guest post from my friend, Molly James, who reached out to me about the topic based on her own personal experience. Yes, yes, yes- I thought- as so many women can relate to these feelings but feel shame and not want to acknowledge them.

          Thank you, Molly, for sharing your truth.


            Negative Body Image: One Thing I’ll Never Discuss with My Daughter

            I was in line at the grocery store last week when the words rung out in my ears. A mother was shaming her middle school-aged daughter for wanting a Kit-Kat bar.

            “Chocolate isn’t part of your diet,” she hissed, “and your pants are already too tight to begin with.”

            The mother removed the candy from the shopping cart and placed it back onto the rack in front of the register.

            Knowing I heard this exchange and probably embarrassed, the daughter looked like she was going to cry.

            It wasn’t my place to intervene, but I was wondering what this woman said to her daughter at home behind closed doors, considering she was so nasty in public.

            I thought about the girl on my entire drive home.

            How I felt sorry for her.

            How, to me, she didn’t look overweight at all. Her pants certainly weren’t tight.

            How I was grateful for my own mother for not body shaming me and my sister when we were growing up. For not pressuring us to look a certain way.

            Perhaps this girl’s mother, who appeared obese, was projecting her own negative self-image onto her daughter.

            I had a friend in college we’ll call Kristy. Blond haired, olive skin, tall, and naturally toned muscles, Kristy was the prettiest girl in the room.


              The True North: Be Who You Are

              True North:

              North that is calculated by using an imaginary line through the Earth rather than by using a compass: the direction that leads to the North Pole.

              [Merriam-Webster dictionary]

              The direction from any point along a meridian toward the North Pole. Also called: geographic north.

              [The Free Dictionary by Farlex]

              Non-negotiable, since the compass will show where it is, relative from your current position, and it will never change.

              [Urban Dictionary]

              In his 2007 leadership book with the same name, author Bill George describes the True North as the internal compass that guides a person successfully through life. It represents who you are as a human being at your deepest level. It is your orienting point- your fixed point in a spinning world. It helps you stay on track toward authenticity.

              Nobody seems to know or care which way is north these days.

              The last week in the news has been particularly unsettling and my own True North tells me to avoid the television. In the wake of the white supremacy rally in Virginia that left several dead, watching the news and reading the divisive information feeds on social media is disturbing.

              It might be reality, but it doesn’t feel good to see or hear and I’m sick of the negativity. There are plenty of wonderful things going on in the world to choose to listen to.


                Back-To-School Supplies for Moms

                Be a back to school hero with | The Champagne Supernova

                Back to School Supplies for Moms | The Champagne Supernova

                This post is sponsored by All sarcasm is my own. Special thanks for fans of The Champagne Supernova’s Facebook page for helping to create this post. 

                The end of summer signals the beginning of long lines at local retail stores.

                Spiral notebooks.

                Loose leaf paper.


                Ti83 calculators.

                Compasses and protractors.

                If you’re like me, you miss the days of the psychedelic Trapper Keepers, but I digress.

                Vintage Trapper Keeper from the 1980s | The Champagne Supernova

                I owned a Trapper Keeper with this exact same pattern when I was in Ms. Kincaid’s Second Grade class at Bunnell Elementary School. Yes, I went to elementary school in Bunnell, which explains my backwoods roots.

                At the front of the line is usually a mom who is seen reluctantly coughing up her credit card at the end of the transaction.

                She does all of the work, but what is the glory?

                It’s a quiet house between the hours of 8:30 a.m. and 3:00 p.m.

                And this got me thinking.

                Why don’t moms get lists of supplies they need to celebrate commiserate with their friends about their kids returning to school?

                If there was a back-to-school for moms list, this is what it would look like:

                Barrels of wine.

                Shoot, an entire winery where we can go barefoot in the barrels (while also drinking wine) a-la Lucy and Ethel.

                via GIPHY

                A blanket for a much-needed (and uninterrupted nap).

                A gourmet lunch that is not the kids’ unfinished mac and cheese, PB&J, or soggy Cheerios.

                A purse that contains only lipstick, an ID, and credit card. No bug spray, sunscreen, hand sanitizer, goggles, boogie wipes, or extra undies for in-case-of-an-accident.

                (Ask me about the time a police officer removed a pair of little girls’ Barbie underwear from my purse when I was going through the security line one busy morning at the courthouse. Not awkward. Not awkward at all.)

                The highest pair of stiletto heels known to man that you can wear to prance around town. Cuz Lord knows you wear flip flops, sneakers, and, God forbid, Crocs as part your normal “Mom Uniform.”

                A stack of magazines you ordinarily have no time to read.

                R-rated movies.

                Ear plugs. Someone’s screaming? It’s not your kid, so it doesn’t matter.

                Permanent markers. That you can use and color on whatever the heck you want. Don’t worry, you can re-hide them before you pick up the kids.


                You know you’ll miss them.

                Here’s to a great start to the new school year.


                Make your volunteer life easier with | The Champagne Supernova


                  Adventures in Lawyering: Being Right

                  Photograph from To Kill a Mockingbird from

                  I got sucked into one of my more notable cases shortly after I finished law school and entered the work force.

                  It involved feuding next door neighbors and was venued in Miami-Dade county, which meant I had the treat of riding on planes, staying the night in swanky hotels, and eating at fancy restaurants when I had to travel from Tampa for hearings and other case-related events.

                  Both of these neighbors were wealthy beyond comprehension and had money to burn on legal fees and costs.

                  We will call them Hatfield and McCoy.

                  Hatfield grew up poor and made a ton of money in the phosphate industry in the early 1990s. He was dishonest, generally disliked, and was on his fifth marriage by the time I got involved in the case.

                  Hatfield accompanied his wife to her deposition (along with their private chauffeur), and introduced her to the group as “Lydia… my Trophy Wife.”

                  (Lydia looked like a Playboy Bunny, so I guess she really was his Trophy Wife.)

                  Hatfield only stayed at this home in Miami for two months out of the year and lived in California for the remainder. It was my understanding he also owned property in Martha’s Vineyard.


                    Kitchen Remodel: White Kitchen

                    White kitchen remodel before and after | The Champagne Supernova

                    Since we moved into our home in 2010, we have been less than excited about our kitchen. While it was spacious and modern-ish (the house was built in 2007), we weren’t in love with the light colored wood cabinets and dark granite countertops.

                    As we didn’t see ourselves living in the house for a long time, we held off on updating the kitchen until we recently decided to give it a face lift, in hopes that it would add value to the house over time. (And also because we decided we are staying put in the house.)

                    Luckily, we didn’t need to undertake major structural changes such as knocking down walls or relocating appliances. This project was entirely cosmetic.

                    I’ve always loved a white kitchen, but didn’t want to paint the existing cabinets because it can be easy to mess up and the quality of the work is typically poor. (You can sometimes see streaks of paint.)


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