I cringe when I see it on my social media newsfeed. Awesome, educated, intelligent people who feel the need to preface their status updates about a controversial or potentially unpopular subject with “I don’t usually post about <religion/ politics/ race relations/ gender equality/ my expensive new car/ superstitious chain mail> but…” This little phrase appears most frequently during election seasons, but I’ve seen it in a variety of other situations.
I think people use this preface for different reasons. It’s because they think it serves as an advance apology for writing something that others might find offensive. It’s because they think their readers will give more credence to their opinion about the subject because of their usual silence. It’s because they want to lighten the blow of the statements that follow. Or, it’s because they’re unnecessarily verbose.
Stop it already. Just stop.
If you want to make a statement about something (without being plain unkind), then own that statement! You are entitled to present your complete opinions without an advance caveat. Without the preface. There is nothing more powerful than hearing (or reading) someone speak from the heart.
Happy 2015 everybody! I hope everyone is having a nice start to the new year and had a good time ringing it in last night.
A new year always triggers a need for me to reflect on what worked in my life and what didn’t in the last year, including what I want to change and what should stay the same. This can be tough because it forces me take a long, honest look at my weaknesses, which is never fun. I’ve taken a personal vow to remain completely authentic 100% of the time with total disregard about what other people think (my first step: putting myself out there on the internet). I’ve come to realize, in this journey to authenticity, that many of my actions were performed out of fear, obligation, or guilt, rather than a sincere desire to do them. I was taking on too many commitments and it was straining my career, marriage, and friendships. For instance, I was so stressed about accepting five consecutive after-work dinner invitations in one week that I wasn’t enjoying the brief time I had at home with my family after work- all I could focus on was getting myself dressed and out the door on time for whatever obligation I shouldn’t have accepted in the first place. I was constantly saying “yes” when I really wanted to say “no,” but feared that the “no” would let other people down or would cause the invitations to stop coming. I can’t let myself be guided by fear.
My theme for 2015 is “just say no!” I will just say no to committing myself to doing things I don’t truly want to do. I will just say no to spending time with people who I don’t genuinely want to spend time with. I will just say no to allowing myself to be distracted by technology during what should be “quality time” with my daughters. I will just say no to overextending myself through membership in organizations that no longer suit my interests or further my goals. I will just say no to allowing myself to feel guilty for declining invitations to dinners, weddings, showers, or birthday parties unless these events are things I completely want to attend.
What are your goals for 2015?