Archive of ‘Home + Entertainment’ category

Dear People Without Kids: You Don’t Get to Judge Parents. Ever.


People who don't have children of their own aren't allowed to judge parents | The Champagne Supernova

Here’s a new rule.

If you don’t have children and/ or never had to raise children, then absent blatant emotional or physical abuse, you don’t get to judge people who are real life actual parents.

Like, ever.

I recently shared an article on my blog’s Facebook page about how people who choose to not have children are not entitled to live in a child-free world. A guy named Joseph commented that “when kids are misbehaving in an intolerant manner, it is almost always shitty parenting.”

[Exact quote]

When I replied to his comment simply asking (more…)

    Family Night In: Live a Healthful Life with Earth Fare


    Healthy living at the Earth Fare grocery store | The Champagne Supernova

    This post was proudly sponsored by Earth Fare. All opinions are my own.

    Hear ye, hear ye!

    A healthy and delicious food chain is opening another location in Tampa Bay!

    Founded in Asheville, North Carolina, in 1975, Earth Fare is a specialty organic and natural foods grocery store. Their full-service philosophy incorporates the highest food quality standards in the industry with compelling value, friendly and knowledgeable service, and a superior shopping experience.

    (more…)

      Prank Calling: Joquetta Jackson and the Infamous Sheet Cake


      prank calls | The Champagne Supernova

      Now that the cat is out of the bag about me being immature, I want to share a story about an old and dear friend, Joquetta Jackson.

      Joquetta works hard as the bakery manager at Winn-Dixie, a popular grocery chain in the southeastern United States.

      While she knows how to make things like cookies and pastries, Joquetta’s real “bread and butter” (see what I did there?) is sheet cakes.

      Joquetta’s got a sheet cake to celebrate every occasion.

      Paternity determinations.

      The syndication of Friends.

      Finally removing that pesky hangnail.

      Her creativity knows no limits.

      Only Joquetta Jackson isn’t a real person.

      She’s a fictional character my friends and I created for the purpose of prank calling innocent victims in college (oh God, and law school) when we should have been doing more important things like studying for exams, working out, washing our hair… the usual.

      People were always so confused when we called.

      I’ll begin with my now father-in-law. (I wasn’t married at the time.) It was 2007 and the 30th anniversary of Elvis’ death.

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        Negative Body Image: One Thing I’ll Never Discuss with My Daughter


        I was in line at the grocery store last week when the words rung out in my ears. A mother was shaming her middle school-aged daughter for wanting a Kit-Kat bar.

        “Chocolate isn’t part of your diet,” she hissed, “and your pants are already too tight to begin with.”

        The mother removed the candy from the shopping cart and placed it back onto the rack in front of the register.

        Knowing I heard this exchange and probably embarrassed, the daughter looked like she was going to cry.

        It wasn’t my place to intervene, but I was wondering what this woman said to her daughter at home behind closed doors, considering she was so nasty in public.

        I thought about the girl on my entire drive home.

        How I felt sorry for her.

        How, to me, she didn’t look overweight at all. Her pants certainly weren’t tight.

        How I was grateful for my own mother for not body shaming me and my sister when we were growing up. For not pressuring us to look a certain way.

        Perhaps this girl’s mother, who appeared obese, was projecting her own negative self-image onto her daughter.

        I had a friend in college we’ll call Kristy. Blond haired, olive skin, tall, and naturally toned muscles, Kristy was the prettiest girl in the room.

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          Back-To-School Supplies for Moms


          Be a back to school hero with SignUp.com | The Champagne Supernova

          Back to School Supplies for Moms | The Champagne Supernova

          This post is sponsored by SignUp.com. All sarcasm is my own. Special thanks for fans of The Champagne Supernova’s Facebook page for helping to create this post. 

          The end of summer signals the beginning of long lines at local retail stores.

          Spiral notebooks.

          Loose leaf paper.

          Crayons.

          Ti83 calculators.

          Compasses and protractors.

          If you’re like me, you miss the days of the psychedelic Trapper Keepers, but I digress.

          Vintage Trapper Keeper from the 1980s | The Champagne Supernova

          I owned a Trapper Keeper with this exact same pattern when I was in Ms. Kincaid’s Second Grade class at Bunnell Elementary School. Yes, I went to elementary school in Bunnell, which explains my backwoods roots.

          At the front of the line is usually a mom who is seen reluctantly coughing up her credit card at the end of the transaction.

          She does all of the work, but what is the glory?

          It’s a quiet house between the hours of 8:30 a.m. and 3:00 p.m.

          And this got me thinking.

          Why don’t moms get lists of supplies they need to celebrate commiserate with their friends about their kids returning to school?

          If there was a back-to-school for moms list, this is what it would look like:

          Barrels of wine.

          Shoot, an entire winery where we can go barefoot in the barrels (while also drinking wine) a-la Lucy and Ethel.

          via GIPHY

          A blanket for a much-needed (and uninterrupted nap).

          A gourmet lunch that is not the kids’ unfinished mac and cheese, PB&J, or soggy Cheerios.

          A purse that contains only lipstick, an ID, and credit card. No bug spray, sunscreen, hand sanitizer, goggles, boogie wipes, or extra undies for in-case-of-an-accident.

          (Ask me about the time a police officer removed a pair of little girls’ Barbie underwear from my purse when I was going through the security line one busy morning at the courthouse. Not awkward. Not awkward at all.)

          The highest pair of stiletto heels known to man that you can wear to prance around town. Cuz Lord knows you wear flip flops, sneakers, and, God forbid, Crocs as part your normal “Mom Uniform.”

          A stack of magazines you ordinarily have no time to read.

          R-rated movies.

          Ear plugs. Someone’s screaming? It’s not your kid, so it doesn’t matter.

          Permanent markers. That you can use and color on whatever the heck you want. Don’t worry, you can re-hide them before you pick up the kids.

          Tissues.

          You know you’ll miss them.

          Here’s to a great start to the new school year.

          Cheers!

          Make your volunteer life easier with SignUp.com | The Champagne Supernova

           

            Kitchen Remodel: White Kitchen


            White kitchen remodel before and after | The Champagne Supernova

            Since we moved into our home in 2010, we have been less than excited about our kitchen. While it was spacious and modern-ish (the house was built in 2007), we weren’t in love with the light colored wood cabinets and dark granite countertops.

            As we didn’t see ourselves living in the house for a long time, we held off on updating the kitchen until we recently decided to give it a face lift, in hopes that it would add value to the house over time. (And also because we decided we are staying put in the house.)

            Luckily, we didn’t need to undertake major structural changes such as knocking down walls or relocating appliances. This project was entirely cosmetic. I know a lot of people though who focus mainly on updating their equipment in the kitchen. For example, rather than changing how your kitchen looks completely you might just want to update something like your toaster and get the best toaster 2019 for your kitchen. It may only be something small. But it can make a huge difference. Small or big, it doesn’t matter what you do to your kitchen as the decision is up to you. For example, after reading some kitchen appliance reviews on https://buyersimpact.co.uk/, we found a fantastic slow cooker that would look gorgeous in any kitchen. Ultimately we wanted to go all out so keep on reading to find out more.

            I’ve always loved a white kitchen, but didn’t want to paint the existing cabinets because it can be easy to mess up and the quality of the work is typically poor. (You can sometimes see streaks of paint.)

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              Adventures in Lawyering: The Porn Star


              Funny stories about being an attorney | The Champagne Supernova

              I’ve got some crazy lawyer stories. This is the first in a series of installments called “Adventures in Lawyering.” 

              Being an attorney ain’t all glitz and glamour.

              In fact, it usually isn’t.

              I’ve been practicing for almost a decade and can’t tell you the number of times I’ve sloshed through mud and debris at a construction site.

              Or the times I’ve had to sift through gory crime scene photographs and then get on an unrelated conference call five minutes later hoping the person on the other end didn’t know I had been crying (or dry heaving).

              The times I’ve received a plaintiff’s gynecology records in response to a subpoena and literally read their handwritten answer of “occasionally” when asked for their sex in an initial patient intake sheet.

              Or the time I went to a junk yard to examine a vehicle that had been involved in a fatal accident the night before. The junk yard worker, through his toothless mouth, looked at me and said:

              Smell that smell? 

              Yes, sir. (Gagging.) It’s putrid.

              That’s brain. Smell it once and you never forget. 

              Trust me, I’ll never forget.

              Autopsy photos.

              Check.

              Stucco density reports.

              Check.

              Laboratory results.

              Check.

              Dealing with irrational south Florida Rambo lawyers.

              Check.

              Spending time in courthouses where the other individuals walking through the security line made “The People of Wal-Mart” seem like the Rockefellers.

              Check.

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                Guest Bedroom Makeover featuring Establishment Home


                How to give your bedroom an easy and cheap makeover | The Champagne Supernova

                After reading 6 tips for a unified bedroom design, it really inspired me to give my guest bedroom the makeover it deserved! It was the red-headed step-child of the house.

                No offense to red heads.

                Our guest bedroom was an ugly hodgepodge of things we accumulated over the years.

                A rug and chair I found at a garage sale in 2008.

                A Pottery Barn dresser and sleigh bed I purchased from a college student on Craigslist when I moved to Tampa a decade ago. (For a total of $350, this was a steal, even back then.)

                A metal decoration above the bed that a neighbor had given to us before her husband was deployed to Germany.

                A comforter and sheets that were hand-me-downs from my mother.

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                  Divorce: The Unobvious, Dirty Truth


                  Things people need to expect when they are divorcing with children that most people won't tell you | The Champagne Supernova

                  First comes love, then comes marriage… and sometimes comes divorce.

                  I was recently reminded of this unfortunate truth when one of my favorite bloggers publicly and bravely announced that she and her husband were divorcing. They were high school sweethearts and share two young children.

                  I have several friends and acquaintances who are either separated or divorced from their spouses. My own parents got divorced when I was in law school and while their maturity and religious faith enabled them to be good friends who get along well (thanks, Mom and Dad!), I witnessed the more difficult parts of their post-marriage journey as it was happening and while the wound was fresh.

                  Divorce should be a judgment free zone, although it doesn’t usually happen that way. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors or truly understands the complexities of a relationship. Nobody appreciates how the intricate details of a childhood, career, and the very nature of our own idiosyncrasies play into a marriage.

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                    How to Prevent a Hangover


                    Foolproof way to prevent a hangover | The Champagne Supernova

                    I recently attended a wedding just north of Atlanta the Saturday before Mother’s Day.

                    The bride is a close friend and I was excited to get outta dodge for 36 hours to see her get hitched. I had plans of waking up early on Sunday to get the first flight back to Tampa so I could spend Mother’s Day with my family.

                    My Mother-in-Law, Leslie, has a house near the wedding venue and was my “date” for the event, as my husband was also out of town on a marketing trip for business. (I know many reading this are shocked, but I hit the MIL jackpot. She’s young, not annoying, and doesn’t tell me how to raise my kids. We good.)

                    As Leslie and I were getting ready for the wedding, I told her I was going to limit my alcohol intake to two glasses of wine the entire night.

                    Famous last words.

                    The wedding was truly spectacular. Gorgeous flowers. Beautiful scenery. Good company. A great song playlist. Delicious food.

                    The party was rocking and the wine was flowing.

                    And flowing.

                    And flowing.

                    I was over-served somewhere between Sweet Child O’ Mine and Summer of 69.

                    (more…)

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