I recently went for a walk with a girlfriend who has a son in Kindergarten.
Despite the young age, there was already “drama” in the Kindergarten class among the boys.
This was typical six year-old drama: excluding someone on the playground, not sharing snacks at lunch, and threatening to disinvite a classmate to a birthday party.
My friend’s son is laid back and easily makes friends. However, because the ongoing drama involved his small circle of buddies in his class, it was hard for him to get away from it.
One of the little boys constantly stirred up drama. His name was Mark. Mark was moody and my friend’s son was always worried Mark would get mad at him about something dumb. The other boys walked on eggshells around Mark.
Also involved in this circle of friends was a kid named Owen. Owen was easygoing and fun. Owen and my friend’s son had a lot in common. Owen wasn’t dramatic.
One day, my friend asked her son what the deal was with Mark and why there was so much drama.
Mom, he said, being friends with Owen is… easy. It’s so easy. Being friends with Mark is really hard.
This simple comment was profound.
We can all relate.
As adults, some of our friendships are easy and some are really hard.
Some friendships are drains and others are sponges.
If we keep the hard friendships going, we can spend more time than we need to focusing on them to the detriment of our “easy” friends, who don’t seem to care or notice anyway, because that’s just in their nature of being easy.
Let’s give credit where credit is due.
Cheers to the “easy friends.”
The friends you can call after several months of not talking (because life gets in the way) and you chat and chat and chat and the next thing you know, three hours have passed and you have to pick up your kids from school, but you feel like you have so much more to talk about.
The friends who are genuinely happy about your successes and mourn with you over your failures.
The friends who can’t stand the same people as you because you mutually see through the phoniness.
The friends who you can do absolutely nothing with but it still manages to be a good time because you don’t have to entertain them.
The friends who aren’t prima donnas who expect you to make them a constant priority.
The friends who are real and would like you whether you wore Tom Ford or something from the Target discount rack. They don’t care how much money your parents have, whether you have a trust fund or food stamps, or what’s in your bank account. You never have to wonder whether they like you for the wrong reasons. They would be friends with you either way.
The friends who put you in your place when they need to, but won’t talk about you behind your back. These are the friends who love you enough to tell it like it is.
The friends who don’t cancel plans with you when something better comes along.
The friends who have helped you move. Because moving is one of the worst things you’ll ever have to do.
The friends who don’t keep score of things they’ve done for you in the past.
The friends who don’t take it personally when you decline an invitation.
The friends who you can cry to or tell your darkest thoughts without fear of judgment.
Thank you to the “easy” friends.