Back-To-School Supplies for Moms


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Back to School Supplies for Moms | The Champagne Supernova

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The end of summer signals the beginning of long lines at local retail stores.

Spiral notebooks.

Loose leaf paper.

Crayons.

Ti83 calculators.

Compasses and protractors.

If you’re like me, you miss the days of the psychedelic Trapper Keepers, but I digress.

Vintage Trapper Keeper from the 1980s | The Champagne Supernova

I owned a Trapper Keeper with this exact same pattern when I was in Ms. Kincaid’s Second Grade class at Bunnell Elementary School. Yes, I went to elementary school in Bunnell, which explains my backwoods roots.

At the front of the line is usually a mom who is seen reluctantly coughing up her credit card at the end of the transaction.

She does all of the work, but what is the glory?

It’s a quiet house between the hours of 8:30 a.m. and 3:00 p.m.

And this got me thinking.

Why don’t moms get lists of supplies they need to celebrate commiserate with their friends about their kids returning to school?

If there was a back-to-school for moms list, this is what it would look like:

Barrels of wine.

Shoot, an entire winery where we can go barefoot in the barrels (while also drinking wine) a-la Lucy and Ethel.

via GIPHY

A blanket for a much-needed (and uninterrupted nap).

A gourmet lunch that is not the kids’ unfinished mac and cheese, PB&J, or soggy Cheerios.

A purse that contains only lipstick, an ID, and credit card. No bug spray, sunscreen, hand sanitizer, goggles, boogie wipes, or extra undies for in-case-of-an-accident.

(Ask me about the time a police officer removed a pair of little girls’ Barbie underwear from my purse when I was going through the security line one busy morning at the courthouse. Not awkward. Not awkward at all.)

The highest pair of stiletto heels known to man that you can wear to prance around town. Cuz Lord knows you wear flip flops, sneakers, and, God forbid, Crocs as part your normal “Mom Uniform.”

A stack of magazines you ordinarily have no time to read.

R-rated movies.

Ear plugs. Someone’s screaming? It’s not your kid, so it doesn’t matter.

Permanent markers. That you can use and color on whatever the heck you want. Don’t worry, you can re-hide them before you pick up the kids.

Tissues.

You know you’ll miss them.

Here’s to a great start to the new school year.

Cheers!

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    6 Comments on Back-To-School Supplies for Moms

    1. Patrick
      August 23, 2017 at 8:18 pm (3 months ago)

      Good list for every parent to have,back when I used to go to school,you needed pencil,a Pee Chee folder and paper. Now? Holy crow….

      Reply
    2. Mayah Camara
      August 15, 2017 at 4:58 pm (3 months ago)

      Looks like an amazing list! I used to hate preparing to go back to school. I can only imagine how my mum felt!

      Reply
    3. Eileen Cotter Wright
      August 15, 2017 at 5:46 am (3 months ago)

      Hahaha! Guess the countdown has begun for back to school! Love it, had a nice giggle this morning.

      Reply
    4. MissPond
      August 15, 2017 at 5:38 am (3 months ago)

      Haha! What a brilliant list! I must ask my mum how she survived the back to school times!

      Reply

    2Pingbacks & Trackbacks on Back-To-School Supplies for Moms

    1. […] Kids aren’t the only one who need back to school supplies. Make sure you get the things you need from the back to school list for moms. […]

    2. […] mom’s hilarious take on the BEST back to school list for MOM’s for a change! —Jennifer Burby of […]

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