Relationships: Dating versus Marriage


The difference between dating and marriage | The Champagne Supernova

Me and my main squeeze on our wedding day, June 20, 2009.

Seven years ago, I said “I do” to fine young man in front of a hundred family members and best friends. As we ate good food and danced the night away, I envisioned our post-honeymoon lifestyle to resemble that of June and Ward Cleaver.

Homemade meals every night. Perfectly well-mannered children.  Laughing while we shared deep conversations.

Longing looks and meaningful glances.

For the rest of our lives.

How I envisioned my post-marriage self.

How I envisioned my post-marriage self.

Then, reality set in and my marriage began to resemble Dan and Roseanne Connor’s.

Who has time for homemade meals?

“Keeping the romance alive” is difficult with young kids, career ventures, and the stress of everyday life.

Sure, it’s easy to become complacent. But don’t we all do it?

Dang.

Here, my friends, are the differences between dating and marriage. It’s the reality that good ole June and Ward never revealed:

Dating: Back massages.
Marriage: Back mole checks.

Dating: Getting gussied up to go clubbing.
Marriage: Clubbing. At Sam’s Club.

Dating: Using Spanx to hide your cellulite and belly fat.
Marriage: Using a gallon of milk to hide the delicious chocolate in the back of the fridge.

Dating: Talking on the phone for hours.
Marriage: “Why are you calling me?”

Dating: Thongs from Victoria’s Secret.
Marriage: Full coverage, cotton Hanes. With holes.

Dating: Tight pleather pants.
Marriage: Yoga pants. With holes.

funny_marriage

Dating: Lollapalooza, Bonnaroo, and Coachella.
Marriage: Disney on Ice.

Dating: Shaving daily.
Marriage: Forget the elephant in the room… let’s talk about the gorilla!

Dating: “That sounds so exciting!”
Marriage: “That sounds dumb and we aren’t doing it!”

Dating: Excitedly wondering what kind of cute gift you might receive “just because.”
Marriage: Grumbling when you receive gifts because you are supposed to be saving for a new roof (but you still appreciate the gift anyway.)

Dating: Promising to never go to bed angry.
Marriage: Sometimes, you just gotta go to bed.

Dating: Four-course, homemade meals in five-inch heels.
Marriage: Frozen pizza on paper plates in sneakers and a stained T-shirt from a corporate fundraiser.

The difference between dating and marriage | The Champagne Supernova

Saturday nights when you’re dating: late nights out on the town and fun “backstage” with the band at Lillian’s Music Store circa 2007.

The difference between dating and marriage | The Champagne Supernova

Saturday nights when you’re married: face mask, glass of wine, prison documentaries on TV, and a tub of buttered popcorn.

Dating: Netflix and chill.
Marriage: A glass of wine and in bed by 9:00 p.m.

Dating: Working out at the gym every day.
Marriage: You work with a guy named Jim. That’s about the extent of it.

Dating: “You are my soulmate…”
Marriage: “But if I met Bradley Cooper…”

I once received a fortune cookie where the fortune read: “Marriage allows you to annoy the same person for the rest of your life.”

Ain’t that the truth.

Happy anniversary, honey!

Disclaimer: This post is meant to be satirical and is not a reflection of my marriage.

Maybe.

Cheers!

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    6 Comments on Relationships: Dating versus Marriage

    1. Shyra
      August 30, 2016 at 12:30 pm (3 years ago)

      I laughed so hard I scared the cat and made the dog start barking!! Thank you for a wonderful start to my day!! 😂

      Reply
    2. An
      July 7, 2016 at 6:52 pm (3 years ago)

      hahaha~ luv these quotes ~ my fav is the last one haha~well it is hard to say no to bradley cooper 😛 ~ happy anniversary!!

      Reply
    3. Renee
      June 21, 2016 at 1:04 pm (3 years ago)

      So cute!! So true, too! (Yes, all my experience with ONE year!) My personal favorite I ask my hubby, “why don’t you make the bed, too?!?!” And response, “because I know you will!”

      Reply
    4. Ali A
      June 20, 2016 at 10:32 am (3 years ago)

      Happy anniversary! For the record I always take the “why are you calling me?” stance – lol.

      Reply
    5. Kelly
      June 20, 2016 at 8:59 am (3 years ago)

      Haha, love it!

      Reply
    6. Emily
      June 20, 2016 at 8:44 am (3 years ago)

      I relate all too well to these! Happy anniversary you two!

      Reply

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