Parenthood: 8 Battles That Aren’t Worth Fighting

8 Battles that Aren't Worth the Fight with your Kids;

It was easy to judge other parents before I had kids of my own.

Oh my Gawd, that lady is letting her three-year-old chew gum!

Can you be-LIEVE those parents are allowing their children make a mess in this [crappy] restaurant?

I would NEVER let my kids entertain themselves with an iPhone!

Man, was I clueless.

After I had children, I realized that some battles aren’t worth being late to work, stressed and defeated. They aren’t worth getting my blood pressure up. They aren’t worth raising my voice. They aren’t worth the eye-roll.

Don’t get me wrong- some battles are worth fighting. Getting into a swimming pool without an adult. Petting a stray animal. Trolling around the medicine cabinet. Taking candy from strangers.

However, in our home, some things are not, and will never be, worth the battle. Here are eight of them.

Lipstick. A lover of cosmetics and all things “girly,” my daughter routinely invades my makeup bag and ends up looking like a clown.

I could rub the lipstick off her face, but the rage that would ensue simply isn’t worth it.

So, unless we’re going somewhere important, the lipstick is staying on.

Not worth the battle.

Hairstyling. My daughter likes to do her own hair, which entails putting a hundred bows, barrettes, and rubber bands onto every square inch of her head. By the time she’s done, she’s proud of herself and making her take them off and re-doing her hair would shoot her self esteem.

There’s nothing wrong with looking like a ragamuffin in public.

Again, not worth it.

Manicures at 6 am. My daughter occasionally wakes up at the crack of dawn and wants me to give her a manicure. Her preference is “rainbow” style, which means a different color on each fingernail.

As there will come a time when she is a teenager and wants nothing to do with me, as long as I’m already awake, I will happily oblige.

Not worth the battle (and so worth the memories).

8 Battles Not Worth Fighting With your Kids;

Wearing Pajamas to School. My daughter has a closet full of beautiful smocked, monogrammed, and brand name clothing. What does she want to wear to school? One of ten polyester Disney princess nightgowns that were purchased at Wal-Mart.

She will not take no for an answer. If I try to put something else on her, she arches her back, scorpion-style, and it takes twice as long to get out of the house in the morning.

So, as long as she chooses a clean set, she can rock her pajamas at school. Although if she keeps going through them at this rate, I think it might be worthwhile to look at other items such as onesies like this blue koala, or one similar that she could also fall in love with and wear comfortably to school. I wonder if she falls asleep.

Not worth the battle.

Cookies for breakfast. Despite having a plate full of organic eggs and farm-fresh fruit in front of her, my daughter becomes fixated on a cookie from the pantry.

As long as she first eats the eggs and fruit, I’m okay with the cookie because I know the cookie is a means to an end.

Not worth the battle.

Nighttime Snuggling. People have strong opinions about co-sleeping, but it doesn’t phase me.

When it’s 3 a.m. on a Tuesday, my husband and I have to work the next day, and our daughter crawls into our bed saying “can I snuggle wiff you?” telling her to get back into her own bed isn’t a viable option.

Definitely not worth the battle.

Tooth Brushing. Ordinarily, this is part of my daughter’s nighttime and morning routines.

In fact, we recently took our daughter for a check-up with a dentist similar to Putney Dental Care. The dentist told us that our little girl has been doing a fantastic job of keeping her teeth clean.

It is never too early to teach your child about the importance of good oral hygiene after all. Besides, no child wants to have to live with a painful cavity.

There are, however, occasions where she will fall asleep in the car and we have to transport her into the house and attempt to get her into bed without her waking up.

We are not going to risk a Hiroshima-esque event occurring in our house by waking her up to brush her teeth.

As long as it doesn’t happen very often, tooth brushing can wait until the morning.

Not worth the battle.

Reading the Same Book a Hundred Times. When my daughter likes a book, she can become obsessed with it.

As in, she wants to read it over and over and over again.

When it’s late at night and we are trying to get her into bed so we have a little time to ourselves, we don’t care if we read Pinkalicious every day for the last month. We are going to comply because the battle isn’t worth it.

Jeez, Pinkalicious, quit eating all the freaking cupcakes already!

Absolutely not worth the battle.

Cheers to choosing your parenting battles wisely!


    41 Comments on Parenthood: 8 Battles That Aren’t Worth Fighting

    1. Chrystie
      February 19, 2016 at 1:02 pm (6 years ago)

      LOL! After reading this I have learned there are a few of them that I will need to give up the good fight for! Toothbrushing being the biggest one! 🙂

      • jenniferdaku
        February 21, 2016 at 12:23 pm (6 years ago)

        My girls generally don’t mind brushing their teeth, but like the saying goes, never wake a sleeping baby (or three year old!)

    2. Brittany
      February 18, 2016 at 10:11 pm (7 years ago)

      Absolutely loved this! As a new mommy I needed to read this!

      • jenniferdaku
        February 21, 2016 at 12:23 pm (6 years ago)

        Congrats on the new addition, Brittany!

    3. Leila
      February 18, 2016 at 7:52 pm (7 years ago)

      I come from a very controlling family so to ease up on that and not continue the cycle, I have my own little mantra. Is it hurting them? Is it hurting someone else? (And by hurting I mean physically causing pain, not just annoying the heck out of someone!) If the answer is no to those, let them do it. It’s not worth it and they will learn whatever it is they are wanting to try!

      • jenniferdaku
        February 21, 2016 at 12:24 pm (6 years ago)

        Leila- I love love love this mantra and will keep it in the back of my mind next time I’m arguing with my three year old over something ridiculous. Cheers! xo

    4. lauren
      February 18, 2016 at 2:15 pm (7 years ago)

      I love all of this!! My daughter seriously looks like a crazy person sometimes when she goes to daycare! But she is so happy with her outfit choices that I just let it go!

    5. Deborah
      February 18, 2016 at 12:35 pm (7 years ago)

      I totally agree with everything on your list except PJs to school. My oldest two are too old for that (high school and college) and my youngest’s school has a strict dress-code. But, yeah, no matter what age they are you have to pick your battles.

      • jenniferdaku
        February 21, 2016 at 12:26 pm (6 years ago)

        Deborah- thanks so much for stopping by the blog and for your feedback. I let my three year old wear her PJs to school because she’s in daycare… anything older would be a much different story. (And I guess I should have specified that she always wears clean ones to school- not the ones she wore all night- haha!) Hope you have an awesome weekend! xoxo

    6. Melissa
      January 19, 2016 at 9:37 pm (7 years ago)

      Totally agree and I was guilty of the same thing- thinking I would do it differently. Ha! Now I am just happy they love books and happy for snuggles. Not worth the battle 🙂

      • jenniferdaku
        January 20, 2016 at 6:09 am (7 years ago)

        Totally agree- the time goes by way too fast! xo

    7. Logan Can
      January 18, 2016 at 6:16 pm (7 years ago)

      It’s like I always say: Sometimes, you just do what you have to do. haha Plus, they are only little once! I have memories of invading my mother’s make-up and it was so much fun! Your daughter sounds precious!

    8. Lisa
      January 18, 2016 at 5:48 pm (7 years ago)

      Battles I won’t fight:
      If my nephew (who lives with us( wants to dress as a princess with the girls, or play my little pony, that’s fine.
      If they don’t want baths on the weekends, I’ll live.
      Cake for breakfast? Cake has milk and eggs in it (that’s my excuse when I eat cake for breakfast!!)

      Great post!

    9. tisha
      January 18, 2016 at 5:43 pm (7 years ago)

      This is so true! I think all of us parents has been in this judgemental spectator before we experienced having kids of our own. I enjoyed reading your post.

    10. Mary @ Vindulge
      January 18, 2016 at 5:29 pm (7 years ago)

      Love it! I say this at least once a day to my husband who forgets easily! It’s all so true! Currently one of my 5 yr olds is obsessed with a bathrobe he got for Christmas. He’s worn it every single day since, even to the airport. Not gonna fight him over that (i’d love to wear my robe 24/7 too) 😉

    11. Lindsay AFM
      January 18, 2016 at 5:22 pm (7 years ago)

      Such a great list. Thanks for the sweet reminder.

    12. Shann Eva
      July 14, 2015 at 10:10 am (7 years ago)

      So True! Before I was a mom, I was one of those judgy “I will never” people that I now hate. Now, if it will stop the screaming, it’s allowed.

      • jenniferdaku
        July 15, 2015 at 6:50 am (7 years ago)

        Amen to that!

    13. Julie
      July 10, 2015 at 11:24 am (7 years ago)

      Totally agree with them all. And as a parent of 3 kids now 20,19 and 16 who have all turned out pretty good I feel I can speak with some authority here! My youngest went everywhere dressed as batman, spiderman or a ninja turtle for the best part of 2 years – not worth the battle!

    14. Tianna
      July 9, 2015 at 1:14 pm (7 years ago)

      no kids here, but thanks for the good laugh haha. I can imagine some of my friends/family relating to so many of these ones.

    15. swapna
      July 9, 2015 at 3:03 am (7 years ago)

      Haha! This was fun to read! Its *sooo* important to choose our battles, not just with children but with husbands too! Lol!

      I have my list of “aaah, who cares” too!

    16. Chastity
      July 8, 2015 at 3:44 pm (7 years ago)

      Agreed! I let me son eat oreos for breakfast about once a week. So not worth a meltdown over something he’s going to eat at some point during the day anyways!

    17. Joy @ Yesterfood
      July 5, 2015 at 11:29 am (7 years ago)

      Yes, m’am, completely agree! Ya gotta choose your battles. I might not choose yours and you might not choose mine, but it’s OK as long as everything isn’t a battle. 🙂 Thank you for sharing this with us at Treasure Box Tuesday- pinned, cause every parent needs to read! 🙂

      • jenniferdaku
        July 5, 2015 at 9:05 pm (7 years ago)

        Thanks so much for stopping by, Joy! Cheers for picking and choosing (wisely!)

    18. Christine Smith
      July 2, 2015 at 9:00 am (7 years ago)

      well said!! I especially agree about clothes and hair. I actually love seeing a kid in a wacky outfit that they clearly picked out themselves. If possible, I will compliment them on their cool fashion choices.

      • jenniferdaku
        July 2, 2015 at 9:51 pm (7 years ago)

        Thanks Christine! Good idea about the compliments, I’ll be sure to give those kids a verbal nod next time!

    19. Emily
      June 30, 2015 at 8:42 pm (7 years ago)

      Aww! You definitely have a girly girl! PJ’s are just so comfortable, I don’t blame her for wanting to wear them to school. My son is just 13 months old, so I haven’t had to pick too many battles yet, but I’m sure they are coming. 🙂

      • jenniferdaku
        July 2, 2015 at 9:54 pm (7 years ago)

        Thanks, Emily! Maybe it won’t be as bad for boys as it is for girls!

    20. Life Breath Present
      June 30, 2015 at 4:52 pm (7 years ago)

      There’s nothing worse than battling with a toddler over something not so important on an occasional (or even a 1 time) basis. I know when I get into those struggles with Baby Boy, I’m quite often the one so upset that I can’t stand it lol

      Good reminder to pick the battles to fight 🙂

      • jenniferdaku
        July 2, 2015 at 9:57 pm (7 years ago)

        Totally! I know that “in the moment” something that is silly seems more serious. Cheers!

    21. Whitney
      June 30, 2015 at 11:43 am (7 years ago)

      Are we sure we don’t have the same daughter?! 😉 Totally agree with you 1000% Instilling self- esteem and independence is so much more important than wanting them to look “perfect” in public, they’re only young once after all.

      • jenniferdaku
        July 2, 2015 at 10:03 pm (7 years ago)

        Amen to that, Whitney. What three year old needs to look perfect, anyway?! Thanks for stopping by!

    22. Lizzy Hill
      June 30, 2015 at 11:12 am (7 years ago)

      Cute post!! Totally not worth the battle! 🙂

    23. Shelly
      June 30, 2015 at 10:38 am (7 years ago)

      Love! So true…my bigs were 11 and 8 when I started having my littles and I definitely think having that spread made me realize really quickly some battles were not worth the fight.

    24. Bethany
      June 30, 2015 at 10:14 am (7 years ago)

      Aw I love this post, very sweet!

    25. Melinda
      June 29, 2015 at 4:03 pm (7 years ago)

      So totally agree with you!
      Here from Inspire Me Monday

    26. Melanie Redd
      June 29, 2015 at 12:16 pm (7 years ago)

      What a great and very wise article you’ve written about which battle are worth fighting.

      I think you are so right – there are some things that just won’t matter in next month or next year. (And, I love the picture of your daughter with the lipstick)!

      When my kids were really small, a wise older friend of mine told me to work toward saying “yes” as much as possible. She said the goal was to “keep their hearts” going into the harder years.

      My kids are in college, and I still have their hearts.

      Think you are on a great trajectory for success!

      Found you on the Inspire My Mondays link up. Glad to find your site~

      • jenniferdaku
        June 29, 2015 at 10:03 pm (7 years ago)

        “Keep their hearts going”… man, what awesome advice! Thanks so much for stopping by and cheers!

    27. Doranda
      June 29, 2015 at 9:46 am (7 years ago)

      I love this post and completely agree with it!

      • jenniferdaku
        June 29, 2015 at 12:00 pm (7 years ago)

        Thanks for stopping by, Doranda! Cheers to easy parenting.