The No-Show Birthday Party: How Our Seemingly Harmless Actions Can Hurt Others


I was recently killing time on Facebook when I came across a girlfriend’s status update that stopped me in my tracks:

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One of the comments in the thread revealed that fourteen of the little boy’s classmates RSVP’d that they would attend the birthday party, but only one of them actually showed up. I blame this on the parents. It’s doubtful that the parents of the thirteen kids who failed to attend had legitimate emergencies that would warrant not showing up for an event that they already committed to. And what about texting or emailing the birthday boy’s parents ahead of time to let them know they had to cancel?

Until I had children, I never fully understood the amount of time and money involved in throwing a party. I imagined the situation where the little boy was probably counting down the minutes until his friends came to his birthday party, only to have one person show up. (And thank God for that one person!) Sure, it was gorgeous in Florida last weekend and there were likely other things these parents would have rather been doing than sitting at some kid’s birthday party, but couldn’t they have just sucked it up for two hours and honored their commitment? My heart goes out to the birthday boy and his parents, which my girlfriend described as “devastated.” I hope I never have to see my children experience that type of heartbreak and disappointment, even though it’s probably inevitable. Anybody who thinks that the birthday boy should “get over it” because disappointment is a part of life needs to consider how they would feel if the birthday boy was their child and they were the ones who had to see the pain in his eyes.

What made reading this status update more difficult is that I’ve been guilty of RSVPing to events and subsequently being unable to attend. This happens rarely and usually only involves weekday girls’ nights where the event seemed like a great idea when I initially received the invitation and RSVP’d. Then, by the time it rolled around a couple weeks later, I was exhausted from working and traveling all day, had a screaming (and sometimes sick) child to feed, bathe, and put to bed, and the last thing I felt like doing was getting dolled up and driving to a place where I had to be social. And when I sent that horrible text to the host(ess) “Hey, I’m so sorry but I had a crazy day today and am not going to be able to make it tonight,” I am usually thinking, “It won’t matter if I don’t go because I saw on the E-Vite that twenty other girls will be there.” Well… what would happen if the rest of those twenty girls did the same thing? Or even ten of them? In reality, during these scenarios I’m thinking about myself and not the person it might be negatively impacting: the host!

Let’s put the RSVP issue aside and move onto attending events that aren’t necessarily appealing (or convenient) to us, but are important to the person of honor. Like the bachelorette party in New York City for the girl who attended all of your events when you were the bride-to-be? Or the baby shower for the girl who hosted your baby shower when it was your turn to be celebrated? Or the awards luncheon (all the away across town when you only have an hour lunch break) for the friend who worked her tail off toward the accomplishment that she’s now being honored? It’s impossible to attend everything we are invited to, and sometimes there are genuine conflicts but, overall, who are we considering when we accept or decline? Ourselves, or the person being celebrated? Shouldn’t we want to make other people feel special, the same way other people have made us feel special?

We live in a world that teaches us to think solely about ourselves: “What do I want to do today?” “What feels like the best decision for me?” “I have to put myself first.” Me, me, me. To a large degree, it’s important to consider our own best interests when making decisions, but where do we draw the line? I don’t know the answer to this question. We can be so absorbed with ourselves that we don’t think about how our seemingly harmless choices can hurt somebody else. What would happen if the world taught us to base our decisions on love and service for others? What would happen if we universally had that attitude?

Perhaps the only good thing to come out of this horrible birthday party story is that anybody who hears about it might second guess the next time they consider blowing off a commitment. I know I will.

(Linking up with Annie and Natalie on Thoughts for Thursday). Photo credit by Can Stock Photo/ Vishnena.

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    63 Comments on The No-Show Birthday Party: How Our Seemingly Harmless Actions Can Hurt Others

    1. Frankie Heck
      July 29, 2016 at 7:24 am (7 hours ago)

      Just had this happen to our daughter. She turned seven and it was her first “friends” party. We invited up to 20 kids – give or take depending on siblings we thought might tag along. Two came.

      Only one family who said they were coming didn’t. The rest didn’t RSVP at all. No one usually RSVPs in our area, so although I was dismayed I was not surprised that we were left in the dark about who might or might not be coming.To make matters worse adult family members who said they were coming were no shows too.

      A couple of things – what really ticks me off is I go to A LOT of trouble (not to mention expense) sending my kids to other children’s parties. I can think of only one invitation that we turned down over my total of 15 years of being a mother. My kids don’t get a ton of invites – but when they do I make the effort because I know it matters to those other children – even when it is really inconvenient for me. One time we lost an invitation and so I had do some pretty high level cyber detective work to figure out who the parents were so I could get the party info and RSVP.

      Which brings me to a practical point – how do you get the contact info for the parents of your children’s classmates? Sometimes they bring home a wrinkled scrap with a vaguely legible number for their friend they want to call. Usually I can barely get last names out of my kids. And even if you know the child’s last name you’re looking at maybe a 60% chance they share that last name with the parent they live with. With so few landlines the phone book is mostly useless. FB? Well I’ve done it (see cyber sleuthing above), but it seems awfully stalky, and the results aren’t always very reliable. Do some school’s provide family directories? Ours sure doesn’t.

      Without contact info, and with my daughter’s birthday being in the middle of the summer, I had little alternative but to send her to school with written invites to distribute during the last week of school – and we know how that worked out.

      I’m thinking of sending my own little tear off and return contact form to be included with the school’s back to school paper packet. “Our kids want to be friends ……please complete and return”. It seems a little proactivity might be in order.

      So, thanks for maintaining this safe venting space. I think I will have to reevaluate the whole friend party thing. It hardly seems worth the heartache, hassle and money.

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        July 29, 2016 at 12:09 pm (2 hours ago)

        Frankie- reading this broke my heart. Summer parties are SO HARD because of family vacations, and it seems there was a good chance many of your daughter’s classmates didn’t even make it home from school with their invitations. I’m so sorry- this is so frustrating. People can be inconsiderate. Just this past week I felt like I got shafted by one of my friends, and my husband had to remind me that “no good deed goes unpunished” and to not do things any more assuming that someone will do something in return just because I did something for them. Sounds like you are a considerate person who goes out of you want to keep other peoples’ feelings in mind, even when it’s inconvenient for you. I LOVE the idea of having your daughter’s classmates fill out the contact form and think it’s not stalky at all, definitely proactive. Maybe in the future, you can throw your daughter a party at the end of the school year (even though it’s off from her actual birthday) and then do a family party or trip during the summertime when it’s her actual birthday. Thanks for stopping by the blog and cheers!

        Reply
    2. Nic
      May 3, 2016 at 1:05 am (3 months ago)

      I’ve yet to throw my youngest son a party because of this worry. His birthday falls on the last bank holiday week of the summer at the end of the school summer break. He’d be devastated if no-one turned up. People don’t seem to care about kids feelings though

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        May 3, 2016 at 9:14 pm (3 months ago)

        Thanks for stopping by Nic. What if you did the birthday party the weekend before the bank holiday week? Who says you have to throw the party the weekend immediately before or after the actual birthdate? I know tons of people who do the party weeks before or after to avoid a conflict. My daughter’s birthday always falls on Spring Break, so this will be an ongoing headache for me.

        Reply
    3. Ami
      February 2, 2016 at 1:08 am (6 months ago)

      My son just turned 1 last Thursday and we waited to have his party that Sunday to make sure everyone could come. He doesn’t have any friends of his own yet so it was going to be mine and my husband’s friends and family. I texted everyone enough time in advance and got all RSVPs back between my husband and I. We went out the day before to get his decorations and cake and everything was ready. Everybody showed up but my side of the family. I felt awful trying to explain to my husband’s family why my family isn’t hear. They understood but it was very uncomfortable. Now when I think of his birthday party it’s slightly ruined by my family’s inability to know when something is important. I’m very grateful for my husband’s family for being there for him and us.

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        February 2, 2016 at 8:46 pm (6 months ago)

        Oh, Ami. Hearing that breaks my heart. I’m so sorry. I would feel hurt as well. What if you said something to your family about your feelings when they didn’t show up. On a positive note, thank goodness for your husband’s family. How awesome that they could attend and be a part of the special memories.

        Reply
      • Jessica
        February 28, 2016 at 8:46 am (5 months ago)

        This just happened to me yesterday when I held a birthday party for my 5 and 3 year olds. I invited 17 kids in total. Four of them their parents called and texted me in advance to say they couldn’t make it as they had other plans. I expected more than 25 adults to show up including family and friends. My kids dad couldn’t make it because he had work, my boyfriend couldn’t make it either because he had a funeral to attend which he didn’t tell me till I was about to leave to go to the party place thinking he was coming. My kids dad family side couldn’t make it because the mom “had a cold” which I think was an excuse not to come.

        On the day of the party, I expected more than 18 adults and at least 13 kids to how up. When I got to the party place, only two people and two kids showed up. Then I sat and sat for about half an hour waiting for the rest, my own family of 4 didn’t show up till the party was half an hour to being over. The rest didn’t show up. They didn’t even call in advance to tell me they couldn’t make it. I then realized how cruel people can be. It’s so sad and rude how people can expect a person to go to their events, yet they can’t go to others.

        The most important thing was that my kids very best friend was there and made their birthday the best and my daughter made a new friend and met other kids. So my kids had a lot of fun that they didn’t think or ask about the other kids who didn’t attend.

        Reply
        • jenniferdaku
          March 3, 2016 at 5:47 pm (5 months ago)

          Reading this breaks my heart, Jessica. I’m thrilled to hear your kids still had fun. You hit the nail on the head when you say “it’s sad and rude how people can expect a person to go to their events, yet they can’t go to others.”

          Reply
    4. Julie
      October 26, 2015 at 1:11 am (9 months ago)

      We just experienced this yesterday. It was his first “big” party that included people other than family and close family friends. We just moved to a new state and don’t know many people yet. We invited all the boys in my son’s class and only two came. It broke my heart for him and i’m so worried about him returning to school tomorrow. He kept looking out the window asking when his guests were gonna arrive:/ I’m hoping that he remembers it as a good time with the boys who came, but i’m worried that seeing all the faces that didn’t come will make him feel sad. It was tough to disguise because we have no family in the area, so it was just our family of five and his two friends. Thanks for sharing this, it helped me to know i’m not crazy for feeling sad about it.

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        October 26, 2015 at 12:17 pm (9 months ago)

        Julie, reading this completely broke my heart. I’m so sorry this happened and I hope this event doesn’t preclude your son from wanting to put himself “out there” in the future. Did the families who didn’t attend at least RSVP they weren’t attending? I know it’s hard, but you have to focus on the two people who were there, as opposed to who was not, which is easier said than done. I’m just so sorry. I hope your son has a great day of school tomorrow. Hugs! xo

        Reply
      • ST
        December 27, 2015 at 8:38 pm (7 months ago)

        Wow. I held a birthday party for my 5 year old daughter today… invited all the girls in her class.. handed them invitations with my daughter so I knew they got them.. no one RSVP’d.. I made a couple calls last night with the excuse “just hoping to plan on how much pizza to order”.. only reached 2 of the parents, no one RSVP’d, and no one showed up. Because I expected a crappy, rude turnout of ZERO, we dressed up our dogs like princesses, my husband and I put on the princess crowns.. the three of us opened her piniata.. presents, ate cake.. danced to her Frozen cd.. and tried to be kids for her. We didn’t mention much to her that kids were supposed to show up today and so overall it went much better than it should have.. ended up like having a tea party at home with the family but that went on all day with her being the center of attention.

        In any case, I hope and pray that these women who didn’t bother to respond or make an effort to come over for a 5 year old’s party all get their’s one day……..

        Reply
        • jenniferdaku
          December 28, 2015 at 9:13 pm (7 months ago)

          It leaves me speechless how rude people can be. Especially “adults.” Cheers to you for making lemons out of lemonade. Your daughter is so lucky to have awesome parents like you and your husband. I’m so sorry this happened. I hope, if anything, people read this post and think long and hard how their actions impact others. Cheers to a great start to 2016.

          Reply
    5. Katie
      July 26, 2015 at 11:04 am (1 year ago)

      Totally agree with you on this. It’s so hard as a parent to see this happen to your child. I recently was invited to attend a play date with a new family from church. She spent a lot of time making treats and games for at least 6 other families that had RSVPed to come…and I was the only one who showed up. I felt so bad for her 🙁 I wish more people would understand how impolite it is to do that!!

      Thanks for sharing this on Tuesday Talk! 🙂
      Katie
      http://www.sweetlittleonesblog.com

      Reply
    6. jeremy@thirstydaddy
      July 21, 2015 at 8:52 am (1 year ago)

      of all the things my wife was stressing over leading up to our girl’s birthday party, this was #1 in my mind. We only had a few actually show up but I let their parent’s know how grateful I was that they could make it

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        July 21, 2015 at 10:10 pm (1 year ago)

        So glad you were a gracious enough host to thank the guests for sharing their day with you. Cheers, Jeremy!

        Reply
    7. Roxanne
      July 21, 2015 at 8:18 am (1 year ago)

      This is a really great read. You are EXACTLY right. What we say and do matters. We as parents must teach our children commitment and caring for others. Thanks for being bold.

      Found you on the Tuesday Talk!

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        July 21, 2015 at 10:14 pm (1 year ago)

        A to the Men! Thanks for linking up, Roxanne!

        Reply
    8. Kathleen
      June 6, 2015 at 12:02 am (1 year ago)

      What a sad story all around. I do hope that the little boy parents were able to get him through this trauma. It is a bit like when the team captain is choosing sides and your always the last to be chosen. Rejection hurts so much. May we all find the strength to help others or even ourselves to go through the hard times and come out on top as stronger people.
      Kathleen for #HomeMattersParty

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        June 6, 2015 at 10:36 am (1 year ago)

        Agreed, Kathleen, and good analogy with being last picked. Growing up, I was a gangly skinny girl who was almost always the last chosen for sports teams. No fun! Cheers and thanks for stopping by.

        Reply
    9. Rachel G
      June 1, 2015 at 12:14 am (1 year ago)

      Aww–this really hit me, bringing back old memories. This kind of thing can still hurt even when you’re long past kindergarten. During my freshman year of college, my parents offered to host a party and let me invite all of my new college friends to a big bonfire and hayride on the family farm. I thought that was so nice of them, and I invited everyone in the Bible study I had started going to, a bunch of classmates, and the other kids I’d met in our freshman orientation group. Everyone expressed interest and excitement. My family was well-prepared, with enough wagons, tractors, food, and activities to host 30 or more people. I figured most of my new college buddies were like me and would appreciate free food and a fun time enjoying the great outdoors. We showed up on the day to pick everyone up from campus, my Dad with his 15 passenger van for anyone who needed a ride, and only two people were there.

      Wow, did that hurt. It’s crazy, but 7 years later I can still feel the sting of being 17 and feeling like even though my family will go to all this trouble to meet my new friends and do something fun for us college kids…I’m not good enough to even make friends who like me enough to come.

      In an interesting twist of events, one of the guys who I’d invited to the party, but who didn’t come, is now my husband of 5 years. I asked him once why he didn’t come and he said, “I’d never been to a hayride before and I thought it sounded really dumb.”

      Ouch. Gotta love a husband for being honest! I still wish I would have somehow been able to convince people to come. My parents moved out of the country right after that, and didn’t come back to the USA till I’d already been out of college for two years, so they only met exactly 2 of the people I spent my college years with–the party was their only chance, and I blew it.

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        June 1, 2015 at 12:07 pm (1 year ago)

        Rachel- thanks for stopping by my blog and for your input. Reading your story was heartbreaking, especially reading about your pain that was 7 years ago. Like the saying goes, “people will forget what others said and did, but they will never forget the way they made them feel.” I hope you believe in your heart that the attendance wasn’t poor because you “weren’t good enough” or because people “didn’t like you,” but because people are preoccupied with their own plans and objectives. That really hurt me to read and I’m so sorry. I think we’ve all be there at one point or another and, if anything, those are “teaching lessons” that build our own character and remind us how not to treat other people. Cheers Rachel. Can’t wait to check out your blog. Jen

        Reply
    10. Nicole
      May 13, 2015 at 2:19 pm (1 year ago)

      So sad. People really need to start thinking more of others and saying what we mean and meaning what we say. I have found that when I think of others more I feel more fulfilled and being selfish really doesn’t make me happy.

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        May 13, 2015 at 8:27 pm (1 year ago)

        Completely agree. An attitude of love and service to others goes really far. Cheers!

        Reply
    11. Rebecca
      April 27, 2015 at 3:31 pm (1 year ago)

      How heartbreaking for that little boy but I agree with some of the comments that this would be a great teaching moment. We are becoming a “selfie” society and we need to remember to reach out to others. Thanks for sharing.

      Reply
    12. JC Marc
      April 17, 2015 at 9:56 pm (1 year ago)

      My son is now 30+ yrs old. However, a few things I would like to point out. Having a large family, I never worried about the number of people attending family events. I was always hesitant to invite school friends because I didn’t know the family’s financial status (unless I personally knew the parents). I would, however, get permission from the teacher and take cupcakes and party favors for everyone in his class – no presents.

      Also, when my son did attend birthday parties, he never received thank you notes. My son was taught that he couldn’t play with his new gifts until the thank you notes were done.

      As he got older, we would have birthday outings, i.e., bowling, baseball games, etc – no gifts. Birthdays are good life lessons for children, as well as parents. I taught my son that a birthday celebration is a gathering of love, not a solicitation for gifts. I am happy that my son is teaching his children these same values when it comes to birthdays.

      I am sorry for this child, but I believe it was also a teaching moment for his parents. There could have been a quick change of plans here – hey lets go to a pizza hangout, or a movie or an ice cream parlor. But I would never have just sat around and visited my frustration and sadness on my child.

      I totally believe in social responsibilities and honoring one’s commitments and am not condoning lack of manners here. But life happens sometimes and it’s up to the parents to teach their children how to make lemonade.

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        April 18, 2015 at 12:57 pm (1 year ago)

        JC MARC- I love you, I want to be you… this is the BEST COMMENT EVER. 1. I agree with the thank-you notes. My mom taught me the same values and I can’t understand how other people don’t instill them on their kids. 2. I love your “teaching moment” optimism, and the idea of making lemonade out of lemons. While the situation was heartbreaking, it was one that the child will eventually get over and not want to project a similar sadness on another child by failing to honor a commitment in the future. 3. I agree that birthdays (and holidays, let’s face it, like Christmas and Easter), should have more of a focus on love and togetherness than “what did people buy for me.” I’m a new mom (I have a toddler and three-year-old) and am always looking for pointers from experienced parents whose children turned out successful. Sounds like your son did, as he is instilling the same values on his children as the values you taught him. Thanks for stopping by and have a wonderful weekend. Jennifer

        Reply
        • JC Marc
          April 20, 2015 at 9:44 pm (1 year ago)

          Thank you for the kind words, Jennifer. I am sure your children will grow up to be wonderful adults because you have the right heart. Good children come from good parents and there is real work, and hard work involved. Thus the term “labor of love”. Your children are fortunate to grow up with such a loving mother. Have a wonderful weekend, and I look forward to more of your postings.

          Reply
    13. Adrian
      April 16, 2015 at 12:19 am (1 year ago)

      This is one of my absolute pet peeves! I have 3 boys and I used to throw really great parties for them every year. We counted it up once and it worked out to about 42 birthday parties over the years. But it was like pulling teeth to try and figure out how many people were going to show up. Usually no one would RSVP until the day before and then I would have to call each and every guest to see if they were planning to come. I would usually invite at least double the amount we actually wanted just to avoid having no one at all. Really people, how hard is it to just say yes, we are coming and then actually show up? I had one couple we invited for dinner and they told us they would let us know that morning if they would be able to make it. I told them to forget it. How incredibly rude! I needed to plan my evening, tidy up the house, buy groceries, and devote time to cooking a big meal. That doesn’t work with just a couple of hours notice. My rule is that I reply to invitations as soon as I can and if I stay I’m coming, barring a hospital visit or something really terrible, I WILL be there!

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        April 16, 2015 at 8:16 pm (1 year ago)

        Thanks for stopping by and sharing, Adrian! Wow, 42 birthday parties?! Pinterest has NOTHING on you 🙂

        Reply
    14. Carrie Groneman
      April 14, 2015 at 9:49 pm (1 year ago)

      Jennifer, I appreciate for this excellent post you wrote. It was very thought-provoking, insightful and spot-on. I featured you on my FB page. Thank you so much for linking up at the Wonderful Wednesday Blog Hop, so GLAD you came by. Carrie, A Mother’s Shadow

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        April 15, 2015 at 10:06 pm (1 year ago)

        Thanks so much, Carrie! I checked it out and feel honored that you featured my post. Hopefully someone will think twice next time they blow off something that is meaningful to another person. Cheers!

        Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        April 15, 2015 at 10:07 pm (1 year ago)

        WHAT?! Nobody sends an RSVP? How are the hosts supposed to know how many are attending?

        Thanks for stoping by, Melissa!

        Reply
    15. Nikki Frank-Hamilton
      April 14, 2015 at 2:28 pm (1 year ago)

      How horrible. I feel so badly for that child! This is a reminder for me though. I have been ill the last 2 years and am never sure if I can make an event, not up until the last moment, really. So I have not even been answering the e-vites that I get. Now I think I need to acknowledge them at the very least and let my host know I am a maybe attending. Better than not answering at all, that is what I would like for someone to do for me. Thanks so much for the reminder to be kind and respectful. And serious hugs for your friend’s son. xoxoxo

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        April 15, 2015 at 10:08 pm (1 year ago)

        Wow, Nikki! Thanks for your unique perspective, it reinforces that some people do have legitimate reasons for not attending other events. Thanks for stopping by and I can’t wait to check out your blog. Cheers!

        Reply
    16. Amber
      April 13, 2015 at 12:50 pm (1 year ago)

      I look at this from a different perspective. I used to have bdays parties for my kids but really I think the bday party is all about the birthday person and the parents. I see the parents saying geese I spent all this money and these people didn’t show up. I went to all this trouble for my kid to feel special. It is their party, their gifts, their day.
      I think people shouldn’t RSVP if they are not going but let’s be honest life can be disappointing at times and I think our society thinks too much about themselves and this includes what kind of expensive party am I gonna have and boy I hope all these people show up but guess what? I don’t think they have fancy parties for kids in other countries where they can barely afford food. So I don’t understand how it is that sad. The child is fed, clothed and has a roof over their head. Just a different perspective and I just think there are sadder things in this world. I feel these parties of kind of a entitlement. I am not saying we shouldn’t make our kid feel special and loved but loved by whom? His whole class or his family that spends everyday with him or the few close friends that actually play with him on the playground?

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        April 13, 2015 at 2:09 pm (1 year ago)

        Amber- I loved that you stopped by the blog and shared your unique perspective. I do agree that there are far worse things in life than not having anyone show up at a birthday, I was just hoping that by reading this, someone would think twice before blowing off a commitment (absent a legitimate reason, of course). I think the sad part of the post (and my friend’s observation) was the child’s disappointment, which is hard to explain to a four-year old. I hope you have a wonderful rest of the week.

        Reply
    17. Lucy
      April 13, 2015 at 5:33 am (1 year ago)

      This is so heart-breaking. I was in a similar situation with one of my daughters friends when only 6 children turned up (2 were mine) instead of the 20+ expected. It is awful looking at the child asking why his friends aren’t there, and lets be honest it’s the parents who didn’t want to go, the kids would have loved it.

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        April 13, 2015 at 2:09 pm (1 year ago)

        Lucy- EXACTLY. It’s the parents’ fault. Thanks for stopping by and I can’t wait to check out Two Tiny Crafters!

        Reply
    18. Michelle
      April 3, 2015 at 6:53 am (1 year ago)

      Do you know this was the number one reason my daughters did not want me to host a party for them. “What if nobody shows up?” That was always the question. Sad it is, but true. That fear or rejection is so strong.

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        April 3, 2015 at 5:03 pm (1 year ago)

        It breaks my heart that your daughters would rather not have a party for fear that nobody would come. I think all of us have these insecurities in some form or another.

        Reply
    19. Natalie
      April 2, 2015 at 9:42 pm (1 year ago)

      Oh my gosh my heart is just breaking for that little boy 🙁 I have been guilty recently (now that I have 2 kids) of RSVPing and then at the last minute backing out. (Nothing major like a birthday party but still) I absolutely hate doing this and after the last time I did it I made a promise to myself not to say Yes unless I really mean and if I do say Yes I have to stick to it. That being said I can’t imagine RSVPing to a kids birthday and then canceling last minute- that is just so rude! I doubt 13 people all got sick or had family emergenies!

      Reply
    20. Shelly
      March 27, 2015 at 9:59 am (1 year ago)

      That just breaks my heart. Thank you for sharing….while I typically would not back out on a kids bday rsvp I have definitely done the girls night out last minute cancellation. I’ll think twice next time!

      Reply
    21. Jessy @ The Life Jolie
      March 25, 2015 at 11:39 am (1 year ago)

      These kind of stories break my heart, especially now that I’m a parent. It definitely makes me want to work harder to honor my commitments (though so far we’ve been good about it, even after our daughter was born). People have no consideration for each others feelings these days.

      I stopped by from Wow Me Wednesday.

      Reply
    22. Heaven
      March 24, 2015 at 10:51 pm (1 year ago)

      Dang! I had a similar situation happen this weekend. I never committed to going so didn’t but now know I should have made the time. It’s always better to do the selfless thing as you said. Great post! Found you on Crafty Allie. Following on bloglovin. 🙂

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        March 25, 2015 at 6:53 am (1 year ago)

        Thanks for stopping by and for the insight, Heaven! I’ve been there-done-that too, and will also think twice. Cheers!

        Reply
    23. Anita
      March 24, 2015 at 8:13 pm (1 year ago)

      This not only hurt the birthday child, it also hurts the children who RSVP’ed as attending, but didn’t. They are learning the lesson from their parents that it’s not important to keep your word. Thank you for posting this.

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        March 24, 2015 at 8:54 pm (1 year ago)

        Great point! Kids learn by example. Thanks for stopping by, Anita!

        Reply
    24. Christina @ Life as a Slay
      March 24, 2015 at 10:11 am (1 year ago)

      I just heard another story on the radio this morning about something similar to this happening. My daughter is 3 and we will soon be entering into the “invite my friends from school to my party” era. It’s terrifying!!! I will definitely make it a point to try to attend every party we are invited to. I can’t imagine having to look at my child’s eyes with that kind of heartbreak in them. It makes me want to cry thinking about it.

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        March 24, 2015 at 12:12 pm (1 year ago)

        Thanks for stopping by and for your input, Christina! I’ll definitely second guess the next time I’m considering blowing ANYTHING off for ANYONE else (as I would have done in the past). Cheers!

        Reply
    25. Dori
      March 23, 2015 at 2:59 pm (1 year ago)

      Such an important topic. It’s easy to get caught up in life and it’s even easier to shift our “inconveniences” to our children. I will defintiley be making a better effort to make sure I’m thinking of the children involved when it comes to these situations.

      Reply
    26. Rose's Craft at FineCraftGuild.com
      March 21, 2015 at 8:20 pm (1 year ago)

      I love how you are writing this up. Yes, of course, EVERYONE’s heart broken for that boy (imagining it could be your own kid). It’s a great reminder for all of us however: dish that ‘oh, the others will show’ and to keep that commitment ourselves to simply show up, even when hard/inconvenient at time. Brilliant.

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        March 22, 2015 at 10:14 pm (1 year ago)

        Thank you for stopping by and for the insight. I agree, the situation stinks, but if even one person read my post and now sticks to a future commitment, then I think it was worth it. Cheers!

        Reply
    27. Sara (Lane) Glomski
      March 19, 2015 at 3:54 pm (1 year ago)

      I can’t even handle that story. That makes me SO sad!! I always try to make it to birthday parties because, like you said, I realize now that I’m a mom all the time and money that goes into planning them and how much it means to the kids!!

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        March 19, 2015 at 8:30 pm (1 year ago)

        Amen and Amen! Now I feel bad about the stuff I dipped out on before I had kiddos. Thanks Sara!

        Reply
    28. Julie
      March 19, 2015 at 9:42 am (1 year ago)

      Heartbreaking what happened to that little boy! Great reminder to ALL of us, to sometimes try to think beyond ourselves. A little thing (like attending a 2 hour kid’s party) might make a big difference in someone’s life. Thanks for the food for thought! It made me think….

      Reply
    29. Christin
      March 18, 2015 at 10:38 pm (1 year ago)

      As usual, impeccable timing. I was considering blowing off a middle of saturday baby shower this weekend in favor of a seafood fest with my fam, but I’m thinking I probably shouldn’t. I’ve tried to justify my way out of it: it’s her 3rd kid (boy after 2 girls and a miscarriage though), it’s a weekend which is the only time we have as a Fam (it’s only 2 hours), etc. etc. etc.

      Thanks for the push I needed!

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        March 19, 2015 at 8:31 pm (1 year ago)

        That makes me so glad to hear, Christina! I’ve found that the events I’m dreading the most always end up being the most fun!

        Reply
    30. Sarah
      March 18, 2015 at 8:22 pm (1 year ago)

      That is so sad! You know I love a good birthday party!

      Reply
      • Sarah Morgan Thompson
        March 18, 2015 at 8:26 pm (1 year ago)

        Not all of my comment posted. I finished up by saying that I was having a discussion at bible study this week very similar to this about how selfishness is so prevelant in our society. The bible teaches us to put live and service to others first, while the world around us tells us to put ourselves first. I don’t know all the answers either, but I do know where to go to find them

        Reply
        • jenniferdaku
          March 19, 2015 at 8:32 pm (1 year ago)

          I love this insight, Sarah. I’ve found that the more I put other people first, the better I feel. God’s instructions are always the best instructions, even when our pride or ego makes us not want to follow them.

          Reply
    31. Dana
      March 18, 2015 at 7:58 pm (1 year ago)

      What a great reminder to each one of us. I’m guilty of the whole “tired, don’t feel like going” scenario but I almost always honor the commitment and end up glad I did. My heart breaks for the birthday boy but thanks for bringing it up! On to the birthday party at chuck e cheese that I have the [pleasure] of attending sat

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        March 19, 2015 at 8:33 pm (1 year ago)

        Thanks for sharing, Dana! I hope your family has a blast at Chuck E Cheese and wins a ton of tokens! (Do they still have tokens these days??)

        Reply

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