The Nine Most Annoying People: I Just Need to Vent


Annoying I’m not perfect. I think I’m funny when I’m probably not. I tell stupid jokes and inappropriate anecdotes. I generally suck at being places on time. However, there’s a breed of people who I find difficult to tolerate. Ladies and gentlemen, the list of the nine most annoying people: The Know-it-Alls. We’ve been encountered by know-it-alls all our lives, but these people become more prevalent during the childbearing years. You MUST purchase this car seat… it’s the best. You aren’t breastfeeding or vaccinating? The horror! Oh my God… little Mumsy must see this specific pediatrician, but only after she consumes her organic peas that were grown from the richest Peruvian soil in my backyard while Daddy plays his harp that was manufactured by handicapped monks in a [third world country] as Spot sits whimpering nearby in the comfort of his fair trade, cashmere blanket. I want to shoot this person. Unless specifically asked, I don’t want your opinions. Namedroppers. I worked with a dude who was the World’s.Worst.Namedropper. He would routinely show up at work on Monday and spout off a list of local people who he hung out with over the weekend. Nobody knew any of these people he was talking about and they were irrelevant for purposes of the conversation. Unless it’s the President or somebody legitimately significant, nobody cares who you and your spouse ate dinner with last night. We get it. You’re a cool dude(ette). Your weekend was probably cooler than mine. Now cut it out. Big Leaguers. You know these people. They are the ones you have met literally ten times and they act like they have no clue who you are as you are biting your lip and introducing yourself for the eleventh. These people are one of two things: 1) mentally deficient, or 2) trying to make themselves feel important by acting like you are unimportant. Move on. Elevator Gunners. People need to become versed in elevator etiquette. I work in a large office building with 41 floors and have been “elevator roadkill” to someone who couldn’t wait for me to get off the elevator before they attempted to get on. It goes like this: push the button, when the elevator arrives, wait until the people inside the elevator get off the elevator before getting on the elevator yourself. Got it? Thanks.

Street Snails. These are pedestrians who take their sweet time crossing the street, even though they know you are waiting for them to completely cross before you can move your vehicle. I get it- they have the right of way. But, every time I know someone is waiting for me, I put a little “pep in my step” out of courtesy. Can’t everyone else do the same? Scary Sneezers. I can’t stand people who do not control the loudness of their bodily functions. There’s a vendor in my building at work who is the loudest freaking sneezer I’ve heard in my life. So loud, that when I was pregnant, my daughter would jump IN UTERO every time she sneezed. It’s rude, unnecessary, and obnoxious. If you wouldn’t sneeze that loudly in church or at an important meeting, then give everyone else the courtesy. El Cheapos. If someone buys a round of drinks and you are a recipient, then eventually it will be your turn to buy a round. I don’t know how I can make this more clear. We aren’t in college anymore. If you can’t afford to go out and you have to mooch, then stay home. If you borrow money from someone or if someone “covers” you for something, then reimburse them before they have to feel awkward by asking you for the money. (See also: if you owe someone money, then don’t let them see you running around town wearing fancy new clothes and dining at expensive places). You are putting a bulls eye on your back for people to secretly hate you. I-Don’t-Know-My-Audiencers. These are the people who brag to public servants about their country club memberships, luxury vehicles, champagne wishes and caviar dreams. They are the people who discuss their valuable stocks, 401k plans, and prenuptial agreements to people who are struggling to make ends meet. Aside from the fact that it’s rude and tacky, it makes you look like a schmuck. My-Social-Media-Life-is-Perfecters. These people have been written about ad nauseam, but I couldn’t resist. Use your imaginations. There you have it, the nine types of people who drive me bananas. Did I leave anybody out? Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.    

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    40 Comments on The Nine Most Annoying People: I Just Need to Vent

    1. Monica
      July 6, 2016 at 9:28 am (3 years ago)

      I swear I can relate to ALL of these! The most annoying is the “I do everything organic and grow every bit of food I serve my kid and I do not give my child dessert” types. I am in southern California and these types of mothers are everywhere. I’m all about natural but I pick and choose what I can and most importantly, I don’t shove it down others’ throats to make them feel less than. Being a mom is so hard as it is! Thanks for this awesome list!!!

      Reply
    2. Ashley
      October 26, 2015 at 11:50 pm (4 years ago)

      This is hilarious! I would definitely agree with all of them and add continuous whistler. We all need to vent about it sometime 😀

      Reply
    3. Kaileigh
      October 26, 2015 at 1:01 pm (4 years ago)

      I started to get a little worried that I was going to be all of these people – but thankfully I’m not a slow walker and I know my elevator manners. I would definitely add on people that chew with their mouth open to this list. I’ve worked in customer service for over 10 years and this is my least favorite person. I hate seeing chewed up food or worse – having it spit on me.

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        October 26, 2015 at 6:03 pm (4 years ago)

        LOL! That person you used to work with needs to learn to “say it” and not “spray it.” Cheers and thanks for stopping by! xo

        Reply
    4. Alexandra @ My Urban Family
      October 26, 2015 at 10:11 am (4 years ago)

      Street Snails are so annoying! They come out in mass crowds whenever I need to actually get somewhere. I always want to just yell MOOOOVE but obviously I don’t ha

      Reply
    5. Janice Wald
      April 19, 2015 at 11:16 pm (4 years ago)

      I liked your post–funny.
      Thank you for coming to last week’s Inspire Me Monday Linky party. I’m Janice one of your hostesses.

      Reply
    6. Crystal
      April 18, 2015 at 10:18 am (4 years ago)

      Those are great! My husband struggles with knowing his audience -not in the way you describe though. He will curse in front of a nun!

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        April 18, 2015 at 12:49 pm (4 years ago)

        LOL! My husband’s said a few inappropriate things in front of our pastor, so I can relate. Thanks for stopping by, Crystal!

        Reply
    7. Nicole
      April 15, 2015 at 12:26 pm (5 years ago)

      This is hilarious! I didn’t know you could control how loud you sneeze, though. I am a quiet sneezer so I’m safe, regardless!

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        April 15, 2015 at 10:05 pm (5 years ago)

        TRUST ME. I heard this person sneeze quietly once, so I know it was controllable. Thanks so much for stopping by, Nicole! Can’t wait to check out your blog.

        Reply
    8. Paige.Rose
      April 13, 2015 at 2:07 am (5 years ago)

      This is the funniest & BEST POST ! You are right on with these types of people! I know I’m a blogger & suppose to be “social” ,but Wow, sometimes with these type of people you just have to shut them DOWN! I wish I could go on about this hahah! Have a great week!!

      Paige.Rose
      http://www.TheQuaintSanctuary.blogspot.com

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        April 13, 2015 at 2:10 pm (5 years ago)

        Thanks for stopping by, Paige, and for your affirmation. Can’t wait to check out The Quaint Sanctuary. Cheers!

        Reply
    9. Ashleigh
      March 14, 2015 at 12:35 am (5 years ago)

      Oh my goodness, this is awesome! It’s like you read my mind lol! I need to print this out and show my kids and make sure they NEVER turn out like any of these people! Thanks for sharing! Please come link this up at http://www.wrightsimply.com/search/label/Linky
      and let others read this!!!
      Have a great weekend! xx Ashleigh @SimplyWright

      Reply
    10. Sarah J
      March 13, 2015 at 10:22 pm (5 years ago)

      Popping over from Funtastic Friday =) And that was hilarious! On the topic of elevator etiquette… how about the people that clearly should exit BEFORE you because you’re at the back of the elevator but offer to let you go but DONT MOVE out of the way! Happens to me all the time, and I only have 2 floors.

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        March 15, 2015 at 9:16 pm (5 years ago)

        Those people are the WORST!

        Reply
    11. J @ A Hot Southern Mess
      March 12, 2015 at 5:54 pm (5 years ago)

      Oh my gosh! This list made my day! I was having a day where I ‘needed to vent’ and then I came across this article and it made 100% sense and made me laugh! Thank you for hitting the publish button on this one! You hit the nail on the head! 🙂

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        March 12, 2015 at 9:16 pm (5 years ago)

        Thanks so much for stopping by and glad you enjoyed!

        Reply
    12. Diana
      March 12, 2015 at 2:46 pm (5 years ago)

      (hiding as I am one of those loud sneezers-I have allergies and do my best to control my sneezes).

      #1 is my sister in law ! She knows how to do everything under the sun (but yet she cannot do any of them!). I stopped talking to her as she always knew how to do everything around. Now DH’s family is all over me to kiss her ____. (Happy face no matter who you don’t like type of his family he has .. One of six kids and I married the oldest which he is!LOL) No thanks ! I don;t everything nor do I profess to !LOL

      Loved your insight on things .. You can put it out there and have fun with it !

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        March 12, 2015 at 9:17 pm (5 years ago)

        Thanks so much for stopping by, Diana- and glad you got some chuckles out of it. Cheers!

        Reply
    13. Divorced Kat
      March 12, 2015 at 8:49 am (5 years ago)

      I have a colleague who is such a namedropper. It actually makes me feel kind of sorry for her. Why would you name drop? Nobody cares!

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        March 12, 2015 at 9:18 pm (5 years ago)

        You’re preaching to the choir on that one. Thanks so much for stopping by, glad you could relate to my struggle. Cheers!

        Reply
    14. AnnMarie
      March 10, 2015 at 6:10 pm (5 years ago)

      I agree with all nine of your annoying people and I’ve got another one…. a huge pet peeve of mine! People who constantly (meaning every time you see them) say or feel like they have to say “let’s get together soon” or “we’ll have to have you over” and then you never hear from them again. There is always the feeling that they expect you to pick up the ball and plan the whole thing. Not!

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        March 10, 2015 at 8:21 pm (5 years ago)

        Good one, Anne Marie! Although I’ve been guilty of saying those things (although not guilty of expecting the other person to plan). Cheers!

        Reply
    15. Elizabeth
      March 9, 2015 at 11:04 pm (5 years ago)

      Can definitely relate, and the social media my life is perfect really kill me. Those and the friends who are on constantly on their phones/devices instead of making face to face interaction a priority. And, I am saying that while typing on the computer while my husband is trying to talk to me…ha!

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        March 10, 2015 at 1:23 pm (5 years ago)

        Amen girlfriend! Thanks for stopping by!

        Reply
    16. Bridget/The Recipe Wench
      March 9, 2015 at 2:29 pm (5 years ago)

      This is hilarious! I used to work in a law firm and I remember one of our clients coming in and trying to hit on me (this was in the 80’s) by asking “Was it you who I saw the other day — I was in the Porsche?” Uhhh. No! Thanks for sharing your funny blog at Inspire Me Mondays Link-Up!

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        March 9, 2015 at 8:44 pm (5 years ago)

        LOL! What a dweeb that guy was. Thanks for sharing!

        Reply
    17. Gilly @ Colour Saturated Life
      March 8, 2015 at 5:30 pm (5 years ago)

      Haha! Ditto to all of these and people who somehow have their drivers licence but don’t understand road rules….anyone heard of an indicator?

      Reply
    18. Audra @ Renewed Projects
      March 8, 2015 at 11:49 am (5 years ago)

      Humorous take on some very annoying people-types. That’s hilarious that your baby jumped in utero at the sneezing! OMG!

      Reply
    19. Francisco
      February 26, 2015 at 3:54 am (5 years ago)

      I was more than happy to search out this net-site.I wanted to thanks on your time for this wonderful read!! I undoubtedly enjoying each little little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you weblog post.

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        February 26, 2015 at 8:47 pm (5 years ago)

        Francisco- thanks for the positive feedback- I really appreciate it. Cheers!

        Reply
    20. Emily
      February 24, 2015 at 6:46 pm (5 years ago)

      Amen to all of these. Or the social updates about every workout you do, ever. UGH!

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        February 24, 2015 at 8:34 pm (5 years ago)

        I hate those updates because they are most prevalent in my newsfeed as I’m sitting on the couch, drinking a beer, thinking about what a shame it was that I missed the gym that day.

        Reply
    21. Erica
      February 24, 2015 at 9:29 am (5 years ago)

      How about the mass-email-the-entire-office-with-irrelevant-stuffers who do so at random times so everyone knows how hard they are working around the clock? Really? You just had to know at 11pm from your office if anyone knows of a certain treating physician? Or you just had to share that legal article on a Saturday from your office? Barf.

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        February 24, 2015 at 8:33 pm (5 years ago)

        I have people who do that at my office. I think, just like you, everyone is really onto their motives. Thanks for the laugh!

        Reply
    22. Sara
      February 24, 2015 at 12:09 am (5 years ago)

      How about the non-committers! “Are you going to be at our house/birthday/superbowl/non-event party tomorrow?” “We’re still up in the air.” Why don’t you just say what you really mean – you’re holding out for a better offer. Nothing irks me more than trying to plan food and drinks for a group of 20 yeses and 15 maybes. Oh – and if you do commit, you have the social obligation of showing up, no matter how tired, bogged down or drunk (really?! you’re how old) you are!!!

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        February 24, 2015 at 8:31 pm (5 years ago)

        This is an INCREDIBLE point that I never even thought about. I try my hardest to attend something once I RSVP yes, especially because of all the work, time, and money that the host puts into planning something. People can be so rude. And not to be sexist, but I think men are the guiltiest of this offense. They seldom plan things (it’s the wives) so they don’t really “get it.”

        Reply
        • Debbie Cantwell
          February 26, 2015 at 6:19 am (5 years ago)

          I agree. On a similar note, when I was planning birthday parties for my son (many moons ago!), I could not tolerate parents of the other kids not RSVP-ing to the invite, making me call people at the last minute to awkwardly ask a few days prior if they were coming! And even then there were some who STILL could not commit! Really? It’s not rocket science – have the courtesy you would want others to have if YOU were trying to plan a children’s party! Even though this was 25 years ago, it’s sad that it still continues to this day.

          Reply
    23. Fay
      February 23, 2015 at 9:29 pm (5 years ago)

      This probably falls under “Know It Alls” but I cannot stand people who are never wrong. It irks me to the core. Just admit you’re wrong! No big deal! But then there’s an excuse as to why they were allegedly “wrong”. (Insert eye gouge here)

      Reply
      • jenniferdaku
        February 24, 2015 at 8:30 pm (5 years ago)

        That’s a good one. I see it all the time at work. Thanks for the feedback, Fay!

        Reply

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